Paia Man Vows to Take on Florida Man in Airplane Smuggling Contest

A Paia man has pledged to break the all-time Spam smuggling record ~ in response to recent news about a Florida man trying to sneak hot dogs onto a flight.

Bradley Huna, a 31-year resident of Paia, said he wants to “put Maui on the map” by one-upping the Sunshine State's hot-dogger.

“Spam is a delicacy here on island, and is way harder to sneak on planes. Tape no stick,” said Huna, 38, an online sage sales freelancer and part-time yoga instructor. “Why does Florida Man always get attention? Maui man matter, too.”

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Earlier this month, various media sources reported that a Florida man was stopped at an international airport with 47 uncooked hot dogs taped to various parts of his body.

Michael K. Williams, 61, who also goes by “Merle,” reportedly planned to fly to a major cookout event and was reportedly “just being efficient” to skip high costs of bringing that many hot dogs that far. He also feared high food prices at the airport, and of getting extra hungry on the flight.

Federal airport agents discovered 47 raw hot dogs taped to his torso, legs and arms under clothing. Reports later noted that Williams also had wrapped in socks inside his carry-on travel-sized packets of mustard and relish.

Williams was not arrested and was allowed to re-book the flight, only after airport staff had him de-weinered.

On Maui, Huna of Paia says he’s figured out how to tape 48 slices of the Hawaii-popular Spam onto various parts of his body. “I haven’t even really started to try,” he said. “I mean, think about all the potential along the insides and outsides of the legs, along the arms, and in the underwear!”

Huna said he was looking into ordering a pair of MC Hammer parachute pants off Amazon. He also contacted the Guinness World Records to ensure his plan would make the organization’s record book.

“They said it was muy pono,” he said.

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