Mysterious Gigantic Hats Popping Up on Maui

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Maui residents are reporting the mysterious overnight appearances of what look like gigantic felt hats on neighborhood corners.

“I stepped out for my morning walk and WHAM! there’s this huge round cap right on the corner,” said Cornelius Hemstedder, who lives off Hina Avenue in Kahului. “It made me look around to see what might have dropped it.”

The sightings weren’t limited to central Maui.

“Why is this huge cap right on Kihei Road?” asked Samantha Doolittle of Wailea. “Will it slow down traffic?”

Maui County officials are on the lookout for the owners of these caps. At the moment, the top suspects are either a giant elf, or huge Kermit the Frog.

“We’re concerned that these big creatures, whatever they are, will also start dropping face masks on the ground,” said George Hulu of the Maui County Public Works Department. “We already have a huge problem with that on island, and massive face masks would make it much worse.”

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