All-Time Record for Conspiracy Theories Smashed by Maui Fires

The modern all-time world record for most conspiracy theories from a single event has been set by the Maui fires, according to officials from Guinness World Records.

While the number of new conspiracy theories associated with the Maui disaster is unofficial, Guinness data-counters say the current estimate of over 30 easily surpasses previous marks.

“We have to call it because the numbers' trajectory is too consistent, indicating clearly that more conspiracy theories are to come from Maui,” said Winston V. Baker of Guinness World Records, based in London. “I mean, everything from space lasers to nefarious corporate land grabs have popped up with the Maui fires. We’ve never seen conspiracists so creative.”

The previous record of 29 conspiracy theories was set by the attack on Paul Pelosi in November 2022. There remains potential for more CTs from the Pelosi attack, because the suspect still faces trial, but Guinness officials noted the Maui fires’ performance in such a short time.

It should be noted that historians are nearly unanimous in calling the assassination of President John F. Kennedy the single largest CT-causer ever.

However that tragedy, along with others like the Lincoln assassination, or Bill Buckner’s muff in the 1986 World Series, occurred before the internet and ability to track and monitor conspiracy theories.

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Conspiracy scientists are mystified about why the Maui fires caused so many speculated schemes, and so fast.

“We are studying this as we speak,” said Gerome Nottingham, strategic director for the National Association of Conspiracy Scientists (NACS). “The conspiracizing on Maui was intense and left behind some evidence of origin, and even hints about when they may stop emerging.”

Conspiracy scientists have discovered what is now called a “red bactiom,” a strange beam that originates from a single location and leaves a tell-tale long tail of vapor. Scientists believe from this vapor tail they can guesstimate when the beam will finally go away.

There are different types of bactiom, but the red bactiom is known mainly for transmitting conspiracy theories.

The current red bactiom was discovered coming out of the Mar-a-Lago Club in southeast Florida. Scientists are still trying to discover what information is being transmitted by the red bactiom, but they suspect a good portion of it is conspiracy theories.

“The only things we know for certain is that this red bactiom beam is strong, comes from Mar-a-Lago Club, is aimed at Maui, and that it will expire at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2024,” Nottingham said.