Mysterious Huge Coconut Balloon Floats High Over Maui; No One Cares

A huge hot-air balloon mysteriously designed to look like a coconut floated high above Maui air space Sunday ~ and local officials just waved it good-bye.

Amid national and international news about spy balloons floating 40,000 feet above the United States and Canada, Maui officials initially wondered how to react.

“No way were we totally going into Full Panic Mode, like it’s March 2020 again,” said Gov. Josh Green, M.D., referring to the beginning of the pandemic. “I mean, it’s just a big coconut, and who’s afraid of a big soft one that high up?”

After about 8 daylight hours, when it was clear the big coconut would blow east toward Portland, state and county officials decided it was probably best to quietly let it go and hope no one noticed.

According to man-on-the-street interviews by Maui Insight late Sunday afternoon, it appears they were correct.

“I thought I saw something brown way up there, but hey, I’ve seen weirder things around here,” said Wilma Yabadabado, 46, of Kahului.

“No way that’s a spy balloon,” said Fred Stoneflint, 33, of Haiku. “What’s there to spy on here? Bikinis in Kaanapali? C’mon, man!”

Alice Sherbotten, 52, of Kihei said no one at the bar she was at noticed.

“Maybe only the Raiders fans,” she said. “But there weren’t many watching the Super Bowl. At least wearing their Raiders attire.”

U.S. intelligence officials declined comment late Sunday, saying they had not yet conferred with all the social media platforms regarding what to censor about the incident.