Magic Mushroom Boom to Combat Inflation on Maui?

An influx of reports about the potential health benefits of so-called magic mushrooms is beginning to drive a noticeable bump in activity in Maui's economy, officials said.

Reports and studies indicating that small doses of psilocybin mushrooms may improve a person's mental well-being, among other health benefits, have driven consistent 'shroom eaters to purchase a great variety of goods in mass quantity, officials said.

"We were wondering what was up with all the tie-dyed tee shirt sales in Paia, so we began looking into it closely," said Diana Lahelehele, communications director of the economic development department for the County of Maui.

"We began tracking retail sales, and even money flows from certain services like zip-lining or parasailing, and found that just this year, sales of anything related to magic mushrooms have increased every month."

At the Paia Consign & Thrift on Monday, retail clerks admitted to a rise in sales of anything tie-dyed, fluorescent, or outright trippy.

"Starting in January and into February we started seeing anything with outrageous colors fly off the shelves," said Levi Pohaku, a clerk at the store. "So we tested it by getting more tie-dyed tees and Grateful Dead concert shirts. And they were gone within weeks."

"We found some super-hideous fluorescent long-sleeve shirts and peppered them on racks throughout the store, and somehow only those shirts disappeared, as if elves dug through the racks and found them," said Annette Hoopunipuni, another clerk at the store.

While psilocybin mushrooms remain illegal in the United States, many states including Hawaii have moved legislation to hopefully pave the way for further research on the nifty fungi.

Meanwhile Lahelehele, with the county's economic development department, believes that further interest in something that grows wild on Maui cow patties could be the answer to inflation.

County officials have noticed increased sales of items or services they believe are linked to magic mushroom use, including:

• Those darn-near glow-in-the-dark long sleeve shirts that so many locals wear on island for outdoor work
• Crazy-colored Croc clogs
• Kites
• Anything with a rainbow on it
• Anything to do with the great banyan tree in Lahaina
• Star-gazing visits atop Haleakala
• Zip-lining for hours upon hours by certain individuals
• More confusion than usual on the Kihei roundabouts
• People experimenting with driving fast over those ginormous speed bumps at Kahului Airport
• More burned-out, abandoned cars than usual along the Road to Hana
• Sales of sage
• Sales of essential oils